


Andante, Andante

by TLD_2_ElectricBoogaloo



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Artifact whamming, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pining, Teeny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 09:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19971691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TLD_2_ElectricBoogaloo/pseuds/TLD_2_ElectricBoogaloo
Summary: Trayler growled loudly.Steve spun the chair around in confusion, and his brain short circuited. There was a kid, a young kid, pulling Trayler‘s tail and giggling quietly, not at all intimidated.ORWhat if Pete had been thinking about Steve instead of Myka when he wished on those dogtags?





	Andante, Andante

Trayler growled loudly.

Steve spun the chair around in confusion, and his brain short circuited. There was a kid, a young kid, pulling Trayler‘s tail and giggling quietly, not at all intimidated.

Trayler pulled his lips back in preparation to bite, and In the blink of an eye, Steve scooped up the young troublemaker just moments before Trayler could bite...him? Her? It? Was ‘it’ offensive? Probably. He glared at Trayler. “Not cool, dude. Go lay down.”

As Trayler stalked off to his bed, grumbling all the way, Steve held the kid out in front of him to get a better look. The kid had light blue eyes, dark brown hair, and a mischievous smile that just screamed trouble.

“Do...uh....” Steve started, just now realizing how very out of his depth he was, “Do you talk yet?”

The kid squealed happily and wiggled. Gonna take that as a no then. Arms getting tired, Steve sat down at the desk, and sat the kid on his lap. He stared at it helplessly. It’s times like this he missed Olivia. She would’ve known what to do if a baby showed up out of blue.

Then again, Steve thought to himself, remembering the time she hid a rabies infected kitten in her closet, maybe not.

The kid mimicked his frown, and smacked his face with a sticky (Why was it sticky?) little toddler hand.

“Dah.” It proclaimed solemnly.

Steve gently pulled the hand away. “No. Not your dah. Where’s your mom? Or your dad?”

The kid (he really should figure out its name) smacked him with its other hand. “Dah.”

Steve sighed. Great. “You got a name, kiddo?”

“Ah-bah.”

Steve nodded seriously. “Great band. Great music. I love Mama Mia. Okay then ABBA. Where’d you come from, huh?”

ABBA just looked at him. “Dah bah.”

Steve nodded. “Very helpful. Awesome. Okay,” he said, standing up and holding ABBA onto his hip, “let’s go find Artie! Yay Artie!”

ABBA cheered. “Awe-bah!”

——

Twenty minutes of walking through the warehouse later, no sign of Artie. Steve had called twice on his farnsworth, but with no response. He sighed, and readjusted ABBA. Steve sat on the floor, because while he worked out, kids are heavy and he was tired. “Okay. Artie’s a no show. You wanna just tell me whatever artifact poofed you into existence?”

“Dah bah.” ABBA said, giggling. “Dah bah!”

“I’m begging you. Finish your words. I’ll do anything.”

“Jinksy! What are ya-“ There was a long pause. “What the hell?”

Steve looked behind him to see Claudia with a clipboard and a beyond confused look on her face. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I don’t know, Claud.”

She waved her hand at ABBA. “You didn’t tell me you had a kid!” She rushed over. “I told you, you’ve gotta start sharing stuff with me man!”

He stared at her. “This is not my child.”

“Lah bah!”

Claudia raised an eyebrow, scooped up ABBA, and held them out until they were side by side with his face. Her eyes flicked back and forth between them.

ABBA giggled and put a hand in their mouth. Steve frowned and removed it, because babies have no immune systems and who knows where that hand has been.

Claudia stared at him. “Dude, call Maury because this your kid. You’ve got the exact same eyes.” She handed ABBA back to him and grinned as she crossed her arms. “Who’s the mom?”

“I’m gay, Claudia.”

She popped her hip out. “And? We watched The Birdcage together not even two days ago Jinsky. Gay dudes can have kids.”

Jinsky scrubbed his face and stood up. “Okay yes, that’s true, but ABBA literally just appeared in front of me like, half an hour ago. I had no say in this ”

Claudia raised both eyebrows. “You named your kid ABBA? Like the band?”

“It’s all it says! It’s either ‘dah-bah’ or ‘ah-bah’.”

Claudia stared at him. “Okay. Naming choices aside, it’s clear you got whammied by a parenthood artifact or something.”

“That’s why I’ve been trying to find Artie, but he’s not answering my calls.”

Claudia scratched the back of her head. “Yeah, I know. The farnsworths have been on the fritz today. I’m trying to fix it.” She leaned down to pick ABBA back up, and froze. “Oh no.”

Fuck. Steve looked around wildly. “Where’d they go?” He looked at Claudia panicked. “Claudia-“

Claudia grabbed his shoulders. “I know. I know Jinsky. This is pretty much the worst daycare ever. But it’s okay. ABBA’s small, and couldn’t‘ve gotten far. You take left and I’ll take right.”

Steve nodded absently, and took off down the aisle, calling the kids name. The longer he ran around, the more frantic he got. Where the hell did it go?

—-

“Um,” Lena said, staring at a baby. “Is this real? You’re seeing this, right?”

Mrs. Frederick had stopped walking and was staring too. “Yes. It would appear a child is loose in the warehouse.” Her eyes flicked to Lena’s. “You wouldn’t have by chance-“

“No. God no. And neither have Claudia or Myka. Their auras would have changed.” Lens frowned. “It almost-“ the baby finally saw them, and scream giggled in delight.

And then it took off running.

Lena gasped and took off after it. Luckily, it was still wobbly at walking, and she quickly caught up to it, snatching it up before it could wreck any more havoc. She turned to Mrs. Frederick, who was, once again, inexplicably behind her.

“Its aura is weird, Mrs. F. It’s like... a turquoise-y blue.”

“Hmm. If you had to guess?”

Lena held the child out in front of her, turning it this way and that. When it giggled again, the aura fluctuated into a yellow hue. She glanced at Mrs. Frederick, face deadpan. “This has Pete’s aura all over it.”

“I thought as such.” Mrs. Frederick muttered.

“ABBA!” A voice shouted some aisles over.

The child giggled mischievously. “Dah!”

Mrs. Frederick glanced down in surprise. “Are you quite sure?”

The baby- Abby was it? Grinned. “Dah!”

Mrs. Frederick gave Lena a small smile. “It would seem that voice would be the father.”

Lena frowned. “Pete’s in Canada right now.”

“Yes, he is.” She glanced at Lena with a small smile on her face. “This will be interesting.” Raising her voice, she called to the voice. “The child is in aisle Pollock-C, Agent Jinks!”

Now Lena was thoroughly confused. She squinted at the delighted bundle in her arms, and blinked in surprise. Huh. “How...is that possible?”

Delighted, Mrs. Frederick snorted. “I have no idea, but I think we will find out soon.”

And sure enough, the telltale sound of slapping sneakers came closer, and Agent Steve Jinks came skidding around the corner, looking harried. Seeing his child, his face lit up in relief. He sprinted up to them and snatched the child into his arms.

He hugged it very tightly for a few moments, and then he whipped out his phone and called Claudia. “Found ABBA. Polluck-C.” He hefted the kid onto his hip and frowned at it. “You are in a world of trouble, buster.”

The child smiled at him and shoved its fist in its mouth, and his stern frown broke into a relieved smile. Lena cleared her throat pointedly, and he slowly turned to face them, smiling nervously. Mrs. Frederick grinned back.

“She is not the only one, Agent Jinks.”

——

Back in the office, ABBA played with some blocks that Mrs. Frederick has conjured up from...somewhere. Lady was an enigma.

Lena raised a very judgy eyebrow. “Like the band?”

Claudia laughed and looked up from where she was researching parenthood artifacts. “That’s what I said!”

“I like Mama Mia.” Steve grumbled as he searched the web for information.

Mrs. Frederick sighed and pinched her nose. “Where is Artemus?”

Lena looked up from where she was helping ABBA build a tower. “Sick. He’s got the flu.” Lena paused guiltily. “I may have spiked his tea with NyQuil to get him to rest.”

Everyone in the room turned to stare at her, and she quickly went back to stacking blocks. Claudia cackled. “Lena, I love you. You’re so scary sometimes.”

Steve squinted at her. “Have you ever spiked my tea?”

“Of course not!” Lena said innocently, not skipping a beat. ABBA frowned and pointed at her.

“Lah bah!”

Steve stared at her. “ABBA’s right. That was a lie.”

Claudia cackled again, louder this time. “Lena, you sneaky little minx! You could end us all with one batch of cookies!”

Lena smiled and laughed. “I will neither confirm nor deny that.”

ABBA, clearly confused with the proceedings screwed up her face, and it looked...almost familiar? Steve narrowed his eyes as he racked his brain. He’d definitely knew someone who scrunched their face just like that. But who-

Claudia looked over and cooed. “Aw, She looks just like Pete!”

“Yeah...” Steve thought as the gears turned in his head. “Exactly like Pete. She’s got Pete’s hair swoop too.” He tilted his head and frowned. Testing a theory, he walked over to ABBA, and picked her up, setting her on his hip. He pointed at his face. “Who am I?”

ABBA smiled. “Dah!”

Ignoring the gushy feeling in his heart, he nodded. And found a picture of Pete on his phone, and showed her. “Who’s this?”

ABBA slapped her hands together excitedly. “Dah bah!”

“No freakin’ way.” Claudia said, blown away. Steve held up a finger to her to wait.

He pointed at himself. “Am I Dah bah?”

For probably the first time since Steve saw her, she frowned. Steve sucked in a breath. She frowned just like Pete did. She grabbed his nose. “Dah.” She repeated solemnly.

Steve slowly blew air out. He pointed at Mrs. Frederick. “Dah bah?” He said, desperately.

He got a head shake. “Fah.” ABBA looked at him like he was an idiot. She waved at the hand that had the phone. “Dah bah.”

“Oh. My. God.” Claudia’s gasped, and smiled so wide it looked like Christmas came early. “You got artifact freaky with Pete?”

“No! no.” He pointed at Claudia, who was looking far too delighted. “Me and Pete did not get freaky, this is just. Uh.” He looked at Mrs. Frederick desperately. “What is this?”

“Well,” Mrs. Frederick drawled, “If you have not, as Miss Donovan put it so eloquently put, “gotten freaky” with an artifact-“

“And I haven’t!”

“-then perhaps we should inquire as to the other half of this equation. When was the last time Pete and Myka have checked in?”

There was a loud silence.

“The farnsworths have been on the fritz.” Claudia said weakly.

“Pete texted me about hockey a few hours ago.” Steve volunteered.

Mrs. Frederick sighed deeply. “Lena-“

“Calling him now.” Lena said, putting the phone up to her ear.

Steve anxiously bounced ABBA on his lap while Lena talked, and did not make eye contact with Claudia, who was clearly having a field day with his (nonexistent, thank you) love life.

——

Pete tossed his vibrating phone to Myka as he got his chow on with some Mountie street food. Canadians knew what was up.

Myka rolled her eyes and answered. “Hey Lena! Farnsworths are still messed up?”

After a minute or two, Myka let out a hysterical giggle and hung up. Pete looked up from his maple ice cream, and the look on Myka’s face made him feel fear. Real fear.

“Whyyyy are you smiling like that?”

Myka grinned at him like a shark that smelled blood in the water. He scooched down the bench, away from her maniacal glee. He didn’t like the looks of that smile.

“Have you, um, by chance, thought about having a family lately? Maybe,” she said, voice getting higher, “a family with a certain gay lie detector?”

He stared at her. “Mayhaps?”

She nodded at him, and then put her hands under her chin, and tilted her head. “And were you, um, by chance, touching something weird, when you thought these thoughts?”

It clicked. Pete groaned and got off the bench. “The freaking keychain! God damnit. C’mon, I know who’s whamming Mr. Hockey Player.”

—-

“Sooo,” Myka said an hour or so later as they walked back to the car after snagging and bagging the dogtags, “is this a serious thing or can I make fun of you?”

“Gimmie a fifteen minute grace period.” He muttered, wiped. Crazy Fan Lady was creative and found a big stick before they Tesla’d her.

Myka nodded, and lasted all of five minutes of driving in silence before she broke. “Are you okay?”

Pete sighed. “Yeah. It’s just- when I was holding the keychain, a kid saw me and stuck his tongue out at me and it got me thinking about like,” he breathed out. “If I could ever have that one day. A kid. But!” He said, cutting off whatever genuine thing Myka was about to say, “you saw how it worked out with Kelly. I’d be hard pressed to find someone to share this crazy life with me. And then I got to thinking about that there’s already people who share this life with me, and my mind landed on Jinksy for...some reason and then I started wondering if Jinksy even wanted kids, and my brain kinda...snowballed it from there.”

Myka nodded in solidarity. “That makes sense.” She coughed delicately. “Kind of, um, interesting your brain went straight to Jinsky, huh?”

Pete suddenly found the road very intriguing and hummed noncommittally. He had a feeling if he told her that he was thinking about Jinksy’s eyes, it might come out wrong.

Pete suddenly frowned. “I hope I didn’t cause him too much trouble though. Is he okay? He didn’t get like, magic pregnant did he?” Pete scrunched up his face. “That’s gross. I don’t wanna think about that.”

Myka hummed nonchalantly, and Pete whipped around and looked at her. “Oh my god Myka, please tell me that didn’t-“

She giggled. “No, no he didn’t get pregnant. According to Lena, the artifact just kinda mushed your auras together into the...form of a child.”

Pete cooed. “Oh my god, that must’ve been so cute! Do you have any pictures?”

“Claudia was there, Pete. She’s texting pictures now.”

Pete cackled. “Yes! I love that girl. Always thinking ahead.” He made a grabby hand motion towards Myka, who rolled her eyes and handed him her phone.

Pete glanced between the road and the phone as he drove. “Oh my god, it has his eyes, that’s adorable.” Pete glanced at it for a few more times, but looking at it for too long made his heart feel like it had been microwaved, so he handed it back to Myka. “Send me that.” Clearing his throat, he continued. “Did they name the little stinker?”

Myka snorted loudly. “Yeah. They named it ‘ABBA’. Steve’s a fan of Mama Mia apparently?”

Pete nodded absently to himself. “Yeah, Colin Firth is like, his favorite actor. Hey, so when we bagged the dog tags, did ABBA...”

Myka winced. “Yeah, She faded. I’m sorry Pete.”

Pete shook his head and tried to get over the sudden wave of sadness that blindsided him. “I’m good. Is Steve okay?”

“Lemme ask Claud.” A minute or two went by, and her phone dinged. Myka frowned. “He was kinda bummed when she left. They’d bonded as he chased her through the warehouse.”

Pete made a mental to talk to him and smiled. “A toddler with half my “aura” or whatever loose in the warehouse? Recipe for disaster.”

Myka nodded, and when her phone pinged again, she snorted. “Apparently Mrs. Frederick was the one who found her, oh my god.”

Pete full on cackled. “Man. I bet that was fun to explain.”

——

Once they got back and he shelved the dog tags, he went on a hunt to find Jinsky. He found him reading on the couch in the BnB, because he was a nerd. As Pete walked in the room, Steve’s eyes flicked up to him, held his gaze for a beat, and then went back to his book.

Pete leaned against the doorway and scrunched up his face. He could never tell if Jinksy was mildly annoyed or wholeheartedly pissed off. Dude had a stone cold poker face. Pete let out a breath. Better play it safe.

“I’m sorry I whammied you, dude.”

Steve looked up at him and frowned, confused. “Myka said it was an accident.”

Oh. Okay. Maybe he wasn’t pissed. Yay! Pete nodded. “Yeah, it was. But I still feel bad about it.”

“Well,” Steve said, moving his legs so Pete could sit down, “don’t. Feel bad about it, I mean. Wasn’t your fault.”

Pete sat down and rubbed the back of his neck. He glanced at Jinsky. “...Wanna talk about it?”

Steve closed his eyes and exhaled. He looked at Pete. “Do you wanna talk about-“

“Yes.” Pete said, probably way too quickly.

Steve marked his place in his book, and put it down. He raised his eyebrow at Pete expectantly. Pete looked at the ground. Eye contact was hard and he didn’t want it right now. “What was it like?”

Steve was quiet for a few moments. “It was...weird. Really weird, you know?” Steve scrubbed his face. “I don’t know. She gave me the scare of my life. It was fun though.”

Pete smiled. “Heard she ran into Mrs. F.”

“And she was delighted. Don’t tell her I said this, but Mrs. Frederick has a soft spot for kids.”

Pete raised his eyebrow and glanced at him. “Really? Didn’t peg her the type.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah.” He sat forward and looked at Pete seriously. “Hey, are you okay? You seem...weird.”

Pete sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. Usually this stuff doesn’t affect me, but for some reason I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Steve nodded slowly. “Okay. Talk to me. What part can’t you stop thinking about?”

Pete glanced at him hesitantly. “You sure? It’s kinda word vomit.”

Steve gave him a reassuring half smile, and Pete‘s throat went dry. “Yeah. Also, being the second half of ABBA, I think I’m the only other one who’d understand it anyway.”

Pete winced. “Again, total accident. Sorry about that. I was holding the keychain and I saw a kid stick his tounge out at me, and I swear,” Pete huffed. “Kid had your exact eye color, which made me think of you, and the kid made me wonder about, you know, startin’ a family and all that jazz.” Pete paused, and gave a half laugh. “Which I guess the artifact kinda interpreted as me wanting a kid now and wanting it half Jinsky.”

Pete was fully aware that Steve was staring at him, but he kept staring at the wall. The BnB had the certifiable ugliest wallpaper in the world. It was very interesting. He could probably stare at it and avoid embarrassment forever. Maybe he should. Did he spy a French influenced pattern near the floorboards? Could be! Certainly looked frenchy.

Steve suddenly cleared his throat. “Well, I’m, um, flattered the artifact thought I’d be a good father?”

Ah. A desperate attempt at humor. Pete could relate there. Pete finally looked to his right, and saw Jinsky giving him an awkward smile. Pete snorted. God save Jinsky, he was trying his best to keep the mood light.

Pete rolled his eyes. “C’mon, you were a great dad.”

“I lost our-“ he suddenly coughed. “I lost ABBA in the warehouse. Within thirty minutes of meeting her.” He looked at Pete and winced. “Not a great dad move.”

Pete stared at him. He totally was about to say ‘our kid’. Huh. Maybe this ABBA thing was messing with his head too.

Pete laughed. “Aw dude, don’t blame yourself for that. ABBA was half my aura! She was bound to get in trouble.”

He rolled his eyes. After a few seconds, he nudged Pete. “She made the same faces you do.”

Pete looked at Steve in surprise. “Did she really? What faces?”

Steve glanced at him and smiled knowingly. “She scrunched her face up when she was confused just like you do. It gave me serious deja vu.”

“Huh.” Pete smiled. He hadn’t known that. He nudged him with his foot. “She looked a lot like you, though.”

Steve smiled and looked down. “Yeah, She did. Did Claud tell you, she could tell when people lied?”

Pete gasped. “No way.”

Steve nodded, grinning widely. “She totally called Lena out on some bullshit. I was so proud.”

Pete cackled. “That’s adorable, oh my gosh. Lil’ baby lie detector! We could’ve gotten you and her matching shirts.”

Steve shook his head, amused. “It was cute, but trust me, according to my mom, a toddler that can tell when you’re lying is...challenging.”

“Oh man, is there a story there?”

“I’ll sum it up in one word: Santa.”

Pete inhaled sharply. “Oh no.”

Steve nodded solemnly. “Oh yes. Santa, the Easter bunny, all of it. The truth about whole shebang, all at once.”

Pete shook his head in solidarity. “That must’ve sucked man, I’m sorry.”

Steve shrugged. “Eh. But that’s why we would’ve had to have been very careful with our wording around Christmas time with ABBA.”

“Duly noted.” Pete said, before he remembered ABBA was gone. He felt his smile fall. “I know I didn’t even get to meet her but…I miss her, weirdly enough.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah. Me too. It was only three hours, but man, I don’t think I’ll ever be the same, you know?”

“Yeah. My heart feels kinda...microwaved whenever I think about it, if that makes sense.”

Steve gave him a half smile. “Yeah, it makes sense.”

They sat in silence for a while. After a few minutes, Pete took a shuddering breath, and let it out slowly. He looked over and smiled at Steve, who was looking at him questioningly. “Thanks for letting me word vomit on you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Anytime man. And you know, for the record? I think you’ll be a great dad, when the time comes.”

Pete’s heart did something very complicated at the compliment. His heart always did weird things around him. He smiled back at Jinsky. “Thanks man. You’ll be a great one too, if you want that someday.”

Steve opened his mouth, and then hesitated. “You know, before today I was positive I wouldn’t. But now, I think I might.”

Pete grinned and gave him a fist bump. “That’s awesome dude! Glad I could inadvertently help you out there.”

Steve rolled his eyes and grabbed his book again, and Pete went into the kitchen to scavenge for food. Before he left, he paused at the door. “Hey Jinsky? For the record, I think ABBA was a great name.”

Steve rolled his eyes and threw a pillow at him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I’ve ever posted fanfic so please be nice :D
> 
> Title is from a VERY underrated ABBA song.


End file.
